Ok folks, I’m gonna get vulnerable and share with you one of the characteristics I have that I’m not too proud of: I have periodic hissy fits.
A part of me resists reality and tantrums when things don’t unfold as desired. Such as, when confronting tech issues, or being behind a sloooow driver, or not being able to find something, or not being able to navigate a website and gain necessary info.
In these situations, I get frustrated, angry and blame whatever it is that’s outside of me, sometimes calling the person or thing “stupid.” (How insane is it to call an inanimate object, “Stupid”!?)
Why am I sharing this with you?
Well, as an example of the nature of the human condition and to offer ways of being that may be helpful.
A few years ago, I wanted to work on my impatience and intolerance. And when I came face-to-face with how I felt about doing so, I was impatient and intolerant. Yeah, impatient and intolerant about working on my impatience and intolerance!
This part convinced me that my impatience and intolerance were vital components of my unique personality and did not want me to become a “Stepford Wife” or an automaton. How boring would that be?
Yet, I came to recognize that I really don’t like the experience of impatience, anger, frustration and blame. I don’t like who I become, I don’t like my thoughts and I dislike the sensations they cause in my body: I become tense, hold my breath, my throat gets constricted, I yell. Not a pretty picture, eh?
So, I’m once again meeting my impatience and intolerance, and this time with more compassion. I’m not trying to get rid of them.
I understand that they’re trying to propel me into the future, into productivity and achievement. They’re a part of me. They want to help me. I appreciate that.
And I – and they – now see how they inadvertently gum up my works, cause me to hyper-focus on anger and blame and thus don’t allow me to take responsibility for my situation and deal effectively with the present reality.
We’re beginning to relate differently with one another.
They’re giving me more space. I assure them we’ll get to the end-goal they have for me. Rather than overwhelming me, they’re now allowing me to be present, which calms them. They’re learning to transmute into effective energies within me.
Their perspective had been “this is how it always is”: that I’ll get lost and not know how to navigate websites or computer tech, or I won’t find whatever piece of paper they want me to obtain.
They see how their expectations draw in the exact scenarios they’re attempting to prevent.
And, thankfully, they are now learning to laugh with me when these events occur. Instead of feeling angry, instead of resisting reality, they are learning to see the irony and find the joy.
We often get caught in the muck of the human situation, which is emotional and sensorial. My practice is to look at it from the broader, neutral, spiritual perspective. To regard the situations as opportunities for learning and growth.
When we can step back, come from our highest self, see the bigger picture, we can have more influence on our own life as well as those in our lives.
It ain’t easy, though it is fruitful. And it is a continual journey. I am thankful for how far I’ve come and know that my work is to embody self love and compassion. In so doing, I might inspire and guide others to do the same.
So, I am, in fact, thankful for all the sh-t that I’ve dealt with, which provides me with the wisdom to apply it to my life and assist others along their journey.
