Well folks, I’ve been out of touch for the past few months as I’ve been in an extremely pivotal place in my life. And, I hope that this somewhat lengthy recounting of my recent events will provide you with hope and inspiration about the possibility for you to draw in your future reality.
So often, we get trapped in the belief that what we want is not possible and I challenge you, instead, to recognize the mind’s attempt to soften the blow of disappointment, and to regard the Universe/God/Quantum Field as timeless, infinite and abundant.
Let me first preface my following disclosure by informing you that I share information about myself only if it serves as an example of the human condition, speaks to the heart of humanity and provides Universal Truths.
Deep breath, here goes.
For context, let me inform you that I’ve been single for 13 years, having been married and divorced twice, and I came to recognize what appeared as an enduring pattern in my relationships: that of me focusing on others’ needs and desires, and typically at an expense to myself. (Sound familiar, anyone?)
You see, up until my 30’s, I believed the key to happiness was that you just make others happy, and then you’ll receive happiness in exchange. WRONG! When we prioritize others over ourselves, we end up devaluing ourselves and thus attract others’ devaluation of us.
As a result, I knew it was time to shift my focus to loving myself. Given that I was the only person guaranteed to spend the entire duration of my life with, it made sense for me to be happy with me. And thus, began my sole/soul journey: to invest in relationship with me.
For these past thirteen years, I’ve lived from the mantra, “You are the meditation.” I was happy. I wasn’t lonely and I didn’t “need” a partner. I regarded my life as “cake,” tasty and delicious, and if “frosting,” a life partner, appeared, I’d welcome it.
My practice was to continually observe myself, my behavior, thoughts, feelings, and statements, and their impact on my and others’ lives. It was challenging yet fruitful and, ultimately, I embraced myself with compassion and little self-judgment. I became transparent and authentic, and shared what I knew of my internal self with those in my life.
When we fully embrace ourselves, we have the freedom and comfort to be ourselves and present and express ourselves in the world. And, despite it requiring a lot of work to get there, it’s a heck more streamlined than trying to figure out and meet everyone else’s needs and desires!
Five years ago, I trusted my internal guidance and moved to Asheville. Not only did I again establish a successful psychotherapy practice and begin mentoring helpers and healers, but I found myself home in community. I always had a friend here or there, but once I landed here, I was embraced by loving community. Or let me say communities, and I finally experienced a deep sense of belonging.
Fast forward to last year, February 2021. I felt almost complete within myself and in tackling my life goals: successful therapy practice and spiritual mentorship process: check. Loving friendships: check. Improved relations with family members: check. Rich and diverse engagement in activities: check. Loving my home: check. Loving myself: check. Financial comfort: check.
What remained? Travel, including visiting sacred sites, and completing my end-of-life paperwork.
What I initially thought would be a simple process of filling out forms, turned out to be an almost year-long emotional endeavor of facing my mortality and getting clear about my values and priorities. Once I notarized the papers, I felt the tremendous gift I bestowed on myself and my son.
And to my surprise last February 2021, concurrent with confronting my death and dying wishes, I was surprised to feel my life partner approaching, and sensed that he’d appear at the end of the year.
From that point on, I “knew” that my beloved was entering my life and the Universe validated me with its continual presentation of mourning dove couples, symbols of mourning, peace, love, faith, and lifetime mates.
Each time I thought of my future beloved, I emitted the brain’s electrical impulse of thought and intention into the Quantum Field. Each time, I felt my love for my partner or his love for me, my heart entrained with the Field’s energy of love which, thereupon, magnetically draws in the future reality.
Little did I know that, all along, I was engaging Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Quantum Field principles regarding drawing our future reality to us. It was only after I attended his weeklong retreat in Cancun, February 2022, a year after I felt my beloved’s presence, that it all clicked.
Although I originally had planned to visit sacred sites following the retreat I, instead, felt a compulsion to visit a friend in Puerto Vallarta.
It didn’t make any sense.
I’d see my friend back home and I knew that Puerto Vallarta would be dirty, noisy, and inundated with tourists and that no-way would I get a feel for the Mexican people or the culture. Yet, I concluded that I had to go.
And that’s where I met Pierre.
So, no, it wasn’t toward the end of December, but instead, five weeks later on the dance floor. Our first date was dinner on Valentine’s Day. He sang, “My funny Valentine.” I was hooked. He was hooked. I returned home the following day, and ten days later, we met in Mexico City and knew that we’d be together for the rest of our lives.
How did we know?
We felt a resonance within ourselves and with one another, an ability to completely be ourselves and speak Truth about our beliefs, emotions, values, desires, fears and doubts, and we were able to honor one another and navigate conflict with grace and resolution. Never before had I experienced a romance in which I felt so held, heard, understood and supported.
The Universe continued to serve up synchronicities.
He too, completed his end-of-life paperwork in December.
He too, abruptly abandoned his plans, foregoing his season’s ski pass and brand new ski equipment, in favor of going to Puerto Vallarta.
He had been calling in his life partner, and there I was.
After my return home from Mexico City, mourning doves built a nest on the window sill outside my living room, incubating new life. And then the fledglings and parents vacated the nest the day Pierre discussed his desire to move to Asheville.
He is now home in Quebec and we are planning a life together. And while I clear space for Pierre in what will become our home, Mamacita and Papacito cleaned out their nest, preparing again for new life.
So, the morals of the story are:
Be aware of your patterns which suggest to you the opportunity to make changes within yourself and in your life.
Pay attention to the messages from the Universe; they’re all around you.
Trust your internal guidance; it may not make sense from the mind’s perspective, but clarity will emerge.
There are no boundaries except for those that the mind imposes.
Welcome the unknown and unseen, the void, the alchemical urn of creativity and magic.
Resonance is a feeling of comfort, expansion, fluidity, excitement, and something bigger than the small self.
When you’re in resonance within your being, you entrain with the Quantum Field.
Have a clear intention and an elevated emotion and you can draw your future self/events into your life.
Resonant relationships still require time, energy, emotional interchange, and working through your differences to co-create your chosen relationship. (And, that’s where I’ve been these past few months…. but I’m back!)
Lastly, enjoy the journey!
