One of the most common mantras that I repeat to myself and to others is “Take your power and express your Truth.”
Too often, we’re afraid of how someone will regard us if we dare to share our true feelings, needs, limits and desires.
And so we adapt to how or what we think others may want us to be.
Or we fly under their radar, being who we are and doing what we want, without risking being “found out.”
With both responses, we deprive others of knowing who we truly are.
And, we give our power away to some unknown entity.
How is that?
We base our statements and behaviors on that which is outside of us.
Someone else.
And, not necessarily on how they will respond to us but instead on our perception of how we think they’ll react.
And, guess what? We. Live. At. The. Center. Of. Our. Own. Universe.
We live our own lives.
And we are the nexus of power and choice in our lives.
Power resides within us in the present moment.
The past is gone, the future not yet here, and others are beyond our realm of power and choice.
They. Feature. At. The. Center. Of. Their. Own. Universe.
When we reclaim focus on ourselves, we have the opportunity to know our internal experiences and thus share what we know about ourselves with others.
To share who we are with others.
And in this way, we bring ourselves into relationship.
Articulating our needs and even possibly getting them met!
When we present our censored or adaptive selves into relationships, we present our reactive, not authentic selves.
Let’s also acknowledge that when we hide or censor ourselves as a means of protection from the possibility of judgment or criticism, there is simultaneous comfort and discomfort.
Comfort in avoiding conflict.
Discomfort and dissonance in being who we are NOT allowing ourselves to be.
Tension in this conflict denotes a desire to break free,
To break free from our internal constraints and feel the comfort of embodying who we authentically are.
If we’re able to extend compassion to our fears, they have less of a chokehold on us, which then frees us to express them to others. And to express our yearned-for needs and desires.
For example:
“I’m afraid if I tell you__________, that you’ll judge me.”
Or,
“I care about you and our relationship and need more __________.”
The inner polarization between fear and desire projects into a perceived polarization between self and other.
The meeting place is within.
Once we feel compassion for ourselves, we can extend ourselves to others with compassion.
Once we get clear within, we can present ourselves clearly to others.
Once we take our power and express our Truth, dissonance and discomfort wash away and we’re home at last!
